What do boobies do?

Charlie and I have a special time in the morning that we call, "Snuggle Buggles". That is the time when he first wakes up and climbs in my bed and we cuddle and have little chats.


This morning, he climbs in and gets all comfy with me. I was telling him all about the day that was coming up... art camp in the morning, then a few hours at day care and then swim lessons... when he turns to me, points to my chest and asks, "What do boobies do?" (Don't you love how out-of-the-blue five year olds think?)


For a moment I was going to make something up, but then remembered my neighbor who had a baby when her daughter was three and a half. Her little girl was not given any fair warning that the new baby would be breastfeeding and was quite shocked to see her new brother suckling away at the teet. So... as always, I made an attempt at reality and decided to fess up on the true functionality of boobies - watered down slightly for a five year old.


I said, "Mommy's boobies are going to make milk for your baby brother to drink when he is born." I waited for the shock to appear on his face at this, but funnily enough, this news did not even phase him. He was more enthused than anything. He lifted up his shirt and pointed to his nipples and said, "Yay! When will my boobies make milk!?"

"Boys can't make milk and boys don't really have boobies."

"Well, then what do these do?" He wonders as he investigates his nipples.

"They don't really do anything. They're decoration, I guess."

"Decoration?! You mean, like for a party!?"

D'oh.

Dear god, I am just now praying he doesn't decide at some poor child's birthday party to lift up his shirt and suggest he decorate the festivities...