Chuck and Hank: Little F***er

I know there are a lot of moms out there who are better than me. They probably are patient, selfless and don't even mind that they are on their third day without a shower. They probably don't yell. They probably don't miss shaved legs, make up, high heels and pretty clothes. They probably put on a hat and go to the grocery store anyway with greasy hair because family dinner is an important part of childhood development. They probably actually like the grocery store. They probably actually cook. They probably have no string of complaints for their husbands the second they walk in from work because they can remind themselves how absolutely wonderful parenting is. They probably remember what cherished blessings children are as they scrub the barf/pee/crayon/ice cream/milk/juice off the $800 Pottery Barn rug that they bought back when they couldn't even afford it that now has a constant stench of sour milk, has been pooped on more than once and has frayed edges. They probably don't have to talk themselves out of having a glass of wine at 3:30pm. They probably don't title blogs about their children as f***ers on the world wide web...

They probably don't even write blogs because their time is so filled actually doing all those crafts on Pinterest with their kids that I only repinned because I want people to think I'm well rounded and interested in more things than pictures of Adam Levine and how to wear mint skinny jeans...

Don't get me wrong here. My kids are amazing. They are funny and adorable and I cherish everything they do and say. I mean, I have a whole blog dedicated to documenting them so that they can have it forever and ever to know how much I have loved raising them. I do not want to be sitting at a desk at some CPA job {shudder} instead of this. I do not want to be 95 years old and regret having missed all those hilarious moments as they grew into their personalities. I do choose to do this. And I am extremely lucky to be able to afford the choice.

But for God's sake, choosing to become a stay at home mom -- it is a sacrifice. Staying at home is HARD. You are literally giving up all that education, all that money, all that you've built, all that is YOU -- for them. And, yes, they're worth it. They are.

But I one-hundred percent retain the right to point out how hard I am working at this job. Don't career-minded individuals have to fill out performance reviews?? Don't they have to list all of their accomplishments every year or so??

Well, here's my list of accomplishments from today:

Today I vacuumed. Clean house = Accomplishment.

While vacuuming, I noticed my toddler had put himself in a somewhat dangerous position of climbing onto the counters. Child-safety awareness = Accomplishment.

While keeping the vacuum running so as to not alert the toddler of my awareness of his activities, I grabbed my camera for the purpose of documentation. Sneakiness for the sake of memorializing a moment = Accomplishment.

Living almost two years with horrible orange-ish yellow oak cabinets without pitching a humongous fit that new ones be installed = Accomplishment.

Finally realizing that the stool that was meant to be used for washing hands in the kitchen sink is better off spending a few months in the garage until the potty-reward m&m's are gone = Accomplishment.