It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Halloween

The boys' Halloween costumes arrived today. I think these two just might be the cutest Italian superheroes I've ever seen...

Life Meets Lifestyle

I have been so busy lately. I am booked. Like, booked through the middle of November at which point I've cut myself off and won't be working (for PB&J, that is) until 2013. Being booked is a great thing! It's an amazing thing! It's something I was not expecting back in March when I started my business. So, I am beyond grateful and happy and all those other super positive words that should be followed with lots of exclamation points!!!!!

In addition to being busy with work, I have been on a constant quest to improve myself. I have been taking some kind of photography course non-stop for six months. And right now, I am idiotically trying to squeeze another into my busy life because I just could not resist. I am taking a course on shooting in the "lifestyle" genre. And I love it.

Lifestyle photography is the kind of photography that speaks to me more than anything else because it captures so much emotion and meaning in it's realness. I think it's becoming more and more popular because people want that connection to their images. I love adding layers of sentimentality to a photo. In my opinion, a good photo is when you look at it and say "Yes. That is perfect. That is us."

Since I haven't done much with the family lately (aside from begging them to please leave me alone so I can work), I thought I would share a couple of the pictures I took for this week's lifestyle course assignment. I really hate the cord in the shots but I really love the shots, so I'll have to deal until I feel like spending the extra time to clone them out!

Here is Henry being Henry. He loves to play with anything that belongs to his brother. I've never known a two year old who can actually play a Nintendo DS like he can. He knows exactly how to make Mario move, jump, and beat the board. It's really so crazy to me!

Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye

Henry was a very unhappy newborn. He came into the world at 10:08pm on a Tuesday night and at 9pm on Wednesday, he started crying and didn't stop.

I was devastated to have this sad baby. I was devastated that I couldn't make him happy. I cried and cried -- desperately wishing for a happier baby -- and at one point, I strongly wanted to give him BACK to whoever you give babies back to (turns out, you can't actually give them back, FYI).

I tried everything to comfort him. I tried letting him sleep on his tummy but then I couldn't sleep because I'd be terrified he'd die of SIDS. I tried swaddling. That helped, but not enough. I tried inclined planes to keep him slightly upright at all times. I tried letting him cry-it-out so that eventually he'd just learn to stop crying and that only taught me that my kid is not a quitter. I tried giving him bottles in addition to breast milk. I tried baby massage, bath tubs, vibrating chairs, another pricey swing (in case the one I had wasn't to his liking), and at one point I considered that maybe I needed to change his name because in my sleep-deprived mind, I thought he might be trying to tell me that he didn't like it.

And of course, I tried na-nas. I went to the store and bought every. single. brand. Except NUKS.

On the second night in the hospital when I couldn't get him to stop crying, I called the nursery for them to bring me a pacifier. The nurse firmly told me they discourage giving babies pacifiers before they've established breastfeeding. I very sweetly told her to bring me a paci or else take the baby back into the nursery and deal with him herself. Five minutes later, I had a teeny-tiny white NUK delivered to my room.

As you can see from the picture of Henry all ready to go home from the hospital, the NUK didn't help. So, a few weeks later when I decided to try another round of pacifiers, I assumed that NUKS were definitely out and didn't buy them. Some time after that, when all else had also failed, I figured spending another $5 on a pack of pacis just couldn't hurt. And thank god for that decision. Because once we had NUKS back in our lives, we had a new Henry. Well, the NUKS and also figuring out that our poor baby was allergic to the egg protein in my breastmilk, THEN we had a new Henry.

I love na-nas. I love that they gave happiness and comfort to my baby. I love the way his cheeks move when he sucks on them. I love the fun colors and styles. I love how he hoards them and likes to hold as many as he can. I love when he army-crawls under the crib to rescue the ones that had fallen. I love when he has a big smile hidden behind it.

And I love that na-nas mean that in some way, he's still my baby.

The Na-Na Fairy came last night to take all of his na-nas to new babies. He was so great about it and bravely carried them all to the bowl to leave out for her. When he said goodbye to them, he got a bit upset but still climbed into bed like a champ. And after a few tears and extra snuggles from mommy and daddy in the rocking chair, he fell asleep... for the first time in almost three years alone in his bed... without his na-nas.

And I've been trying not to cry all day.

Popcorn and a Movie Friday

This has been a looong week for me. I've spent every moment of my days TRYING to find some time for work. My to-do list kept growing longer and longer and instead of accomplishing anything, all my time ended up going to toddler-wrangling as Henry seemed to know just the right times to test my nerves and patience. See this week's previous post, Little F---er, if you'd like a detailed understanding of just how on edge I became with my work/life balance this week.

Oddly, a lot of my stress this week had to do with photography-related things I have yet to finish -- but my favorite way to relieve stress is to take photos. I don't claim to be the kind of person who makes sense so, on Friday, to calm myself down from all the climbing expeditions Henry has taken this week, I decided to photograph the day! Funnily enough, we ended up with a movie-and-popcorn-themed Friday! Yay for cohesive story-telling! :)

First things first - I love to photograph Charlie's classroom. I started doing this last year as a way to make a special photo book as the teacher's end of year gift. It became my favorite pet project - popping into the classroom randomly to photograph the children during lessons. This year, Charlie has a wonderful teacher who has agreed to let me in the classroom to do this project again. Today, the children had their first popcorn party for good behavior. They earn a piece of "popcorn" for the chalkboard bowl every time a student is respectful or responsible and also for overall class behavior. Once their popcorn bowl is full - they get a party on Friday with a movie! So cute, right?


Henry loves going to his brother's classroom! He gets lots of attention from the big kids and can usually find plenty of things to entertain himself!

After a viewing of Magic Schoolbus, the kids got to play a math game using a deck of cards to help learn how to say numbers that have a millions place (have I mentioned how amazing Charlie's teacher is??).


Afterschool, I treated the boys to a movie as Charlie's reward for getting stars on his "no talking" chart everyday this week at school. This was Henry's FIRST movie theater experience. Knowing Henry, it could really only go one of two ways -- he'd either love it or hate it so much that the screaming would force us to leave. I planned as best I could to make sure he'd love it. Junk food usually wins Henry over so we went to the grocery store to pick out candy and popped lots of popcorn to sneak into the theater. (I have no issue buying their wardrobe from MiniBoden and Crewcuts but I just cannot bring myself to spend $4 on a box of candy... I realize I am a walking oxymoron, stressing heavily on the "moron" part).



We saw Hotel Transylvania which was a really cute movie and held Henry's attention for almost the whole flick. It was less funny than I was hoping but more sentimental and sweet than I expected, too. Andy Samburg's voice got on my nerves and Adam Sandler's Dracula accent didn't hold in all parts -- but I have a feeling kids are not very critical about these sorts of things. Steve Buscemi's werewolf and Kevin James' Frankenstein more than made up for whoever cast David Spade. How does that guy keep getting hired? Anyway, there were a few parts that I thought might be too scary for Henry but he didn't seem to mind them at all. He liked how the seats in the theater went up and down so he spent a lot of time climbing in and out of his seat when he got a bit bored with the movie. He also really liked switching out his popcorn for m&m's and then back to popcorn again.

Overall, Charlie loved the movie - totally age appropriate for him - and Henry seemed to get along alright which means we will finally get to all go see movies together.

Little F***er

I know there are a lot of moms out there who are better than me. They probably are patient, selfless and don't even mind that they are on their third day without a shower. They probably don't yell. They probably don't miss shaved legs, make up, high heels and pretty clothes. They probably put on a hat and go to the grocery store anyway with greasy hair because family dinner is an important part of childhood development. They probably actually like the grocery store. They probably actually cook. They probably have no string of complaints for their husbands the second they walk in from work because they can remind themselves how absolutely wonderful parenting is. They probably remember what cherished blessings children are as they scrub the barf/pee/crayon/ice cream/milk/juice off the $800 Pottery Barn rug that they bought back when they couldn't even afford it that now has a constant stench of sour milk, has been pooped on more than once and has frayed edges. They probably don't have to talk themselves out of having a glass of wine at 3:30pm. They probably don't title blogs about their children as f***ers on the world wide web...

They probably don't even write blogs because their time is so filled actually doing all those crafts on Pinterest with their kids that I only repinned because I want people to think I'm well rounded and interested in more things than pictures of Adam Levine and how to wear mint skinny jeans...

Don't get me wrong here. My kids are amazing. They are funny and adorable and I cherish everything they do and say. I mean, I have a whole blog dedicated to documenting them so that they can have it forever and ever to know how much I have loved raising them. I do not want to be sitting at a desk at some CPA job {shudder} instead of this. I do not want to be 95 years old and regret having missed all those hilarious moments as they grew into their personalities. I do choose to do this. And I am extremely lucky to be able to afford the choice.

But for God's sake, choosing to become a stay at home mom -- it is a sacrifice. Staying at home is HARD. You are literally giving up all that education, all that money, all that you've built, all that is YOU -- for them. And, yes, they're worth it. They are.

But I one-hundred percent retain the right to point out how hard I am working at this job. Don't career-minded individuals have to fill out performance reviews?? Don't they have to list all of their accomplishments every year or so??

Well, here's my list of accomplishments from today:

Today I vacuumed. Clean house = Accomplishment.

While vacuuming, I noticed my toddler had put himself in a somewhat dangerous position of climbing onto the counters. Child-safety awareness = Accomplishment.

While keeping the vacuum running so as to not alert the toddler of my awareness of his activities, I grabbed my camera for the purpose of documentation. Sneakiness for the sake of memorializing a moment = Accomplishment.

Living almost two years with horrible orange-ish yellow oak cabinets without pitching a humongous fit that new ones be installed = Accomplishment.

Finally realizing that the stool that was meant to be used for washing hands in the kitchen sink is better off spending a few months in the garage until the potty-reward m&m's are gone = Accomplishment.

Taking all your frustration out on your blog so you can be a better mother to your children tomorrow = Accomplishment.

An Apple a Day

My hubby and Charlie had tickets to the Nationals game. My best friend's husband was out of town leaving her to need something to do to entertain her kiddos. And my cousin had a morning horse riding lesson at a barn close to my home and wanted to hang out afterwards.

All of these things came together for a really amazing day at Stribling Orchard in Markum, Virginia with my best friend, her kiddos, my cousin and my little squeeze, Henry.

I had never been apple picking before! It seemed like the most wonderful thing to do on a late and perfect September Sunday.

I wish I could shut up about how much I love Virginia -- but I just don't think I can. Driving just 30 miles west to reach the orchard was as beautiful a drive as it could be with mountains reaching up into the brilliant blue sky. The leaves are still very green but you can see some color trying to find its way onto the leaves.